Still not happy

Can't believe I only lost 1lb last week. Another lousy 1lb week. What is really frustrating is that I was even more careful last week than the week before. I managed 4 work outs on the bike last week and now that I have a heart rate monitor (thanks dad) I know I really am working hard and consistently. I was even better behaved with food and also spent part of Saturday chasing C around one of those kids soft play things with a massive slide (hard work but tremendous fun).

I'm not as down about it as last week but am still not very happy. I really don't know how what more I can do.

Flippin' wonderful

Another measly 1lb. I know it's better than nothing and I should be pleased but to be honest I am not. I worked really hard last week, I was brilliant with food, didn't eat any of my exercise points (and there were LOADS - I spent a lot of time on my exercise bike) and I didn't eat any of my saved points either. So I'll be honest and say that I am thoroughly disheartened and fed up that all that pain and denial achieved so little.

I know its sometimes like that but I am still fed up.

I am also fed up that I am still 40% fat. According to those who know more about this than I do I need to be 25% or less to be healthy. That's another 15% and as I can lose 6lb without it changing even 1% I still have a very long way to go.

So I deduce that although 11st 1lb will take me to a healthy BMI it is likely that I will need to drop considerably lower than that to get the fat % healthy. According to the charts 8st 12lb is also a healthy weight for me - which means I am not even halfway yet - I could have another 60lb to go.

People keep saying that I have a larger frame and shouldn't get too slim - but how do we know that? When did anyone last actually see my true frame? The last time I wasn't fat was when I was 20 and I was 9 stone 10lb and still had a flabby belly. So maybe I really do have to try for another 60lb to achieve 'good health'.

If you saw that show with Jamie Oliver on 4 last week - Eat To Save Your Life (available on 4OD until 15th February if you missed it) - they found that some of the slim people had more fat (and more than is healthy) than the fat ones because it was all stored around their organs - where it is really dangerous.

I am so fed up with spending an inordinate amount of time making meal plans, shopping for 'fresh ingredients', chopping sodding vegetables and 'dry frying' bloody onions. I worked out that I average about 2 hours a day in the kitchen cooking 'healthy and nutritious food'. That's a day a week - and half the time the adapted recipes are vile anyway.

I would really like to have a week where I don't have to spend all week actively thinking about, preparing and not eating enough bloody food.

Comedy tights

I don't wear tights very often any more. I don't wear skirts very often either which is probably why. Last night I discovered I can just get into my Inspiration Boots so today I put on a skirt so I could show them off...

Of course with a skirt goes tights. I have lots of pairs of tights left from when I worked in town. So I put some on, added the boots and off I went for the day.

Imagine Nora Batty in black knee length leather boots (actually, that's a bit of a scary thought). I've got the famous wrinkling but it's at my knees!!! utterly hilarious.

Smaller tights are now on my shopping list.

Another month bites the dust

And so to the end of month 5.

This month has been the hardest yet with Christmas parties, Christmas itself and New Year all packed into it. I'm pleased to say that while not as dramatic I did still manage to lose some weight - 8lb in total. I am hoping that this month will be a little easier but I fear that the easy pounds were several stones ago and I am going to have to fight for every lb from here in - I certainly did last month.

Current totals are: £27.13 per lb and £1,642.01 total. If anyone is getting anxious about final payment in April you are welcome to make an interim deposit via www.justgiving.com - think of it as sponsorship on HP!

I also have a couple of t-shirts left if you're interested - £9 & free shipping. Mail me for sizes if you are interested.

I've added some more pictures to the website (top right - give it a few secs to load) - a snazzy little slide show of Jes-pics from the last 20 odd years - if you have any others you would like included please email them to me.

Missing J so much

I guess the path of grief is a rocky one. I've been missing Jes so much this last week. I'm starting to feel very angry about what happened too - which I understand is normal.

I've changed the little pic at the top of this site to a slide show of pics of Jes over the last 20 or so years. Seems fitting.

Can't help but be diappointed

Had a really good week last week, food intake was brilliant (low and healthy) and exercise was high - new bike is really good.

This week I lost nothing. Zilch. Nadda.

Thank goodness I worked out how to use the body fat measuring part of the scales a couple of weeks ago. I have lost no weight but I HAVE lost 1% body fat. While that is great for my health it's a bit of a disappointment as I am not sponsored to lose fat but to lose weight.

I'm overweight!!! Hurrah

I'm officially overweight!!

Not 'obese' or 'very overweight'. Just plain old overweight! What an achievement. Only another 33lb and I will be 'normal' (weight that is, I'm not sure that any amount of weight-loss could make me wholly 'normal'!).

Freecycle help get the blood pumping.

Those who know me will be aware of my personal commitment to reducing waste and to recycling and my involvement with my local Freecycle network.

Courtesy of a local freecycler I now have a natty exercise bike - a good one. It might not be all modern heart monitors and digital bleeps but it's got an amazing fly wheel and is really smooth to pedal.

This is wonderful as I have always fancied a new clothes horse. Ho ho ho. Seriously though. I am finding it increasingly difficult to get the exercise I need as I can only swim when C is at pre-school and as she has had extended illness and then the holidays that means I haven't been for nearly a month. The weather has made rollerblading (or any other outdoors activity for that matter) impossible so I have great hopes for the new clothes horse.

Happy New Year to you all and an extra special shout out to everyone who has started their own 'Shrink' this month - go for it!